I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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