Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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