Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Pants are for mortals
i think i just lost a toe
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
