hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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