I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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