I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
