On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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