i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
