I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
