Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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