Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
