just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
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You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
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but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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