Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
we made out on top of his cat.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
