Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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