how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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