yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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