would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
