Screwed.edu
People in love make me want to vomit
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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