Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
