I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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