We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
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