how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
