Buhtt sex?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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