Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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