you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
