I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
