Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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