my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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