my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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