I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
