How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
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