Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Randomize
