non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
