I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
