I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
