Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
