I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
