i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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