I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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