But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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