let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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