shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
