I don't think brook has ever known best
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
