Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
