This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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