A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
