This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
