As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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