It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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