It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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