"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
