Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
