just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
