i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Randomize
