my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
