her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
