Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
you had me at cake vodka
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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