you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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