My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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