He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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