So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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