i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
