heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
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